


It Always Catches Up

by messedupstargazer



Series: It's Okay To Be A Mess [2]
Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: And Tony Gives Him One, Communication, Crying, Dealing With Trauma, Gen, Lots of Crying, Nightmares, Or At Least With Peter, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, Tony stark is a good father, dad tony, falling asleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-25 01:45:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12025494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messedupstargazer/pseuds/messedupstargazer
Summary: A small whimper broke Tony's train of thought.  And a pained cry made his heart hurt.  Tony turned back down to Peter whose face had gone from peaceful to panicked.  His breath started coming in faster and faster, his eyes darted around under his lids, and Tony could almost see the pounding of Peter's heart.“No, please, no, no, please.”  Peter whimpered, and Tony felt his heart shatter.





	It Always Catches Up

Since Peter had taken the dip in the East, Tony had constantly had his eye on the kid. Thankfully, the kid didn’t get into much trouble, none that would warrant Iron Man getting involved, so he let the kid just be his own superhero. But he did invite Peter up to the compound more often, with Happy picking him up from school, so he could make every improvement the suit needed. He brought the kid in for his webbing, for an updated heater in his suit that wouldn’t get damaged in a fight, and he even updated the pajama suit with a tracker and an emergency ‘Call Tony’ button, just in case. Soon after, the kid started coming on a regular basis. Every Friday, Happy would pick the kid up from school, as there was no decathlon practice that day, and drive him up to the compound. It was a good time for both of them, if Happy’s more frequent smiles towards the kid were any indicator. But for Tony, it was both Heaven and Hell. Peter very obviously didn’t remember Tony calling him son, but Tony very much did. And sometimes when Peter would look at him with awe and amazement, Tony’s heart would remind him just how much Peter meant to him now. But Tony never found the strength to talk to Peter when he was conscious. There were probably many instances where he could've talked about it, but Tony could never bring it up. For now, though, Tony just tried to be there for his kid as much as he could.

Today had been exhausting for the both of them. There had been a lot of work to do, with Tony upgrading and inventing new arrows for Clint, Peter’s homework and improving his webbing, they hadn't found much time to speak to each other. Tony would occasionally nudge Peter into drinking water and eating what food Happy had set out for them, but the entire time Tony had really been focused on improving Clint’s arrows, as Tony now understood better than ever making it home to your kids. He would sometimes glance up to see the kid working but he left it at that mostly. He actually really enjoyed just sometimes looking up and finding him there, not having to talk just working side by side. It wasn’t until he finally finished, and he looked at the time, which had passed ten o’clock a while ago, that he saw that Peter still sat at the table behind him.

“Hey, kiddo, think it’s time to stop for the night.” Tony said, wiping his face with his hands.

Peter mumbled something Tony didn’t understand.

“Kiddo, either I'm too tired or you're too tired, which means it is way past your bedtime.” Tony sighed, walking over to his kid.

Peter didn’t answer.

“Come on, kiddo, I'm sure a nice bed sounds really great right now.” Tony said. “Don’t make me call May to get you to go to bed.”

Peter still didn’t answer. Tony frowned, Peter never shut up really, and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Peter?” Tony asked.

Deep, even breathes were his response. Tony chuckled, his heart swelling. Peter lay asleep on his hand, slumped over his webbing. Thankfully, Tony always made his kid do his homework first so he wasn’t screwed for over the weekend, in case something spider-y came up. Tony brushed a stray lock out of Peter's face and smiled. His kid was too goddamn cute for words. Though he wished he could've frozen that moment in time, the kid needed to go home. He needed to sleep in a real bed where he wouldn’t wake up in drool with a crick in his neck. Tony had a cot for sleeping in the lab but he knew May would want him home, no matter how much Tony thought he already was. Happy could probably be roped into carrying the kid to the car, and would drive the kid home.

A small whimper broke Tony's train of thought. And a pained cry made his heart hurt. Tony turned back down to Peter whose face had gone from peaceful to panicked. His breath started coming in faster and faster, his eyes darted around under his lids, and Tony could almost see the pounding of Peter's heart.

“No, please, no, no, please.” Peter whimpered, and Tony felt his heart shatter.

“Kid, you're okay.” Tony soothed as best as he could. “You're safe now. You’ve got the suit, you're all right.”

“I can't, I'm scared, no, God, I can't hold it, I'm not strong enough, please, I can't, I can't, I can't.” Peter murmured, unable to hear Tony.

Tony lightly shook the kid, hoping it would wake the kid, but Peter screamed, “Oh God, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die.”

“Peter, wake up, you're safe.” Tony shouted.

Peter gasped awake, almost falling off the bench he was on but Tony caught him.

“It’s okay, Peter, it’s okay.” Tony said. “I'm right here, you're not in danger. There's no building on you, there's no plane.”

Peter wiped away absent tears roughly. “I'm sorry Mister Stark.”

“Don’t be, kiddo.” Tony said as Peter leapt out of his arms.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I should get going.” Peter said too quickly, backing away. “I'll text Happy when I make it home.”

“Stop Peter.” Tony said softly, hoping the softer approach would get the kid to listen.

Peter froze, his cheeks red and he wouldn’t meet Tony's eyes.

“I have them too.” Tony admitted.

Peter looked up at Tony, confused.

“I get nightmares too.” Tony said.

“But you're Iron Man, you saved the world.” Peter said, almost desperately.

“So?” Tony asked. “You think that doesn’t mean I don’t get nightmares? If anything, it made the nightmares worse. It went from dreaming about failure to dreaming about torture, flying a nuke into a black hole and sometimes even all my friends dying.” Tony of course left out the fact that most of his nightmares now were very focused on losing Peter. “Just because you're a superhero doesn’t mean you're immune to nightmares.”

“But I should be stronger than that.” Peter snapped, his eyes watering. “I'm Spiderman. I'm supposed to save the day. How am I supposed to save the day if I can't handle a few dreams?”

“Peter, the fact that you have these dreams doesn’t make you weak.” Tony said. “It took me a long time to understand that and you need to know that it’s not weakness.”

Peter bit his cheek and looked away from Tony, his arms squeezed against his chest. Tony crossed the few steps to his kid and put his arms on Peter's shoulders.

“You're the strongest kid I know.” Tony whispered. “Nightmares won’t make me think any different.”

The dam burst and Peter started outright sobbing. Tony pulled him into his chest and Peter wrapped his arms around Tony’s neck. In one fluid movement, Tony swept Peter up and carried him to the cot a few feet away. Once they were both settled, where Peter was crying into the nape of Tony's neck and Tony had his arms wrapped around the kid, Tony just let Peter cry.

“I'm sorry, Mister Stark.” Peter cried. “I try so hard to be strong and not let it affect me but I can't. I'm not strong enough. I'm never gonna be strong enough. All I want to do is be a good superhero, but I'm so scared all the time. I'm scared of rubble falling on me, I'm scared of falling from heights, I'm scared when I hear planes overhead, and I'm just so scared all the time. I don’t want to be so scared all the time, I just want to be strong, like you. Because you needed to bail me out a while ago, because I wasn’t strong enough, and I just want to prove myself to you. To show I deserve getting the suit back.”

“Peter, you don’t have to prove yourself to me.” Tony said. “If you didn’t deserve the suit, I wouldn’t have found you in the first place. But you did, and I wanted you to be safe. And it was my fault that I wasn’t more open with you about Toomes. I should've told you that I was calling the FBI so you didn’t think you would have to go after them yourself. That was my fault, Peter, not yours.”

“I should've listened to you.” Peter wailed. “It was my fault all those people almost got hurt on the ferry.”

“Peter you can't keep taking the weight of the world on your shoulders.” Tony hushed. “Not even your super-strength can take it. I sure know the Hulk can't, and he’s a lot stronger than you.”

“But people are counting on me to keep them safe.” Peter said.

“That doesn’t mean that you can take on keeping every single person in New York safe from any sort of harm.” Tony said. “That’s just not possible.”

“You must think I'm so stupid.” And Tony's heart broke all over again.

Tony's arms tightened around his kid, and his right hand unconsciously started to run itself through Peter's hair.

“I don’t think you're stupid.” Tony hissed. “Do you think Bruce Banner is stupid?”

Peter pulled away, confused. “No, I've read his papers. He’s really, really smart.”

“Or how about Hawkeye?” Tony asked.

“No, a lot of those shots take intense math.” Peter sniffled.

“What about Captain America?” Tony asked, going in for the kill shot.

Peter shook his head, tears still running down his cheeks.

“All of them get nightmares.” Tony said, pulling Peter back into his chest. “Every single one. I know because I used to live with them. We had codes in Jarvis for when we had bad nightmares and we would all congregate and watch Disney movies or, hell, even Sesame Street. It reminded us that there was good in world, and I stealthily got Capsicle and Thor caught up on a lot of pop culture. Does that sound stupid?”

“No.” Peter sniffled faintly.

“What makes you different?” Tony asked. “Why are they not stupid but you are?”

“They’ve got-” Peter tried.

“No they don’t.” Tony interrupted. “Trust me, I've lived with them. They don’t. They are just like you, Peter. You're just a teenager and they got their shit when they were adults. And I'm pretty sure most of them don’t have a high school diploma. Or in Cap’s case, one that didn’t come from the Great Depression where school was not even close to the monster it is now. Steve wouldn’t call you stupid because you have nightmares. And I'm not going to either. Because I refuse to outright lie to you, unless there is someone else in the room or in case there's something that needs to be discussed or explained at a later time. That a fair deal, kiddo?”

Peter sniffled. “I guess.”

“If you want to talk about it, I'm right here for you.” Tony said. “There's a reason I put my number into Karen. If you ever need me, just ask Karen to call me. I'll answer. Even if it’s three in the morning.”

Tony could've just put his phone number into his kid’s phone, but he figured with Karen, he’d be able to get the kid’s vitals, and record the conversation just in case his kid mentions something he needed to check out. That way, no matter what was going on, he could keep his kid safe. Also it wouldn’t rack up minutes on the kid’s cell phone bill. Tony was an expensive friend, especially with the outer space calls, he thought mildly. And that was in no way hiding the fact that he was terrified that someone would use Peter to get to him, and hurt Peter along the way. In no way hiding that.

“I don’t want to bother you.” Peter murmured so quietly Tony almost didn’t hear him.

“You're never a bother to me, Peter.” Tony whispered, holding his kid as tight as he could. “I wouldn’t have asked out of obligation or out of annoyance. I asked because I want to know what's going on in your life. If something scares you, I wanna know about it. That way I don’t make it worse. That’s what Rhodey and Pepper did for me and I want to do it for you.”

Peter clutched him tighter, his tears renewed. Tony wondered if he’d ever had someone in his life like this, someone who wasn’t family who was willing to treat him as such. He vaguely remembered a mention of an ‘Uncle Ben’ but he wasn’t sure what happened to him. So he just responded in kind to his kid.

Tony wasn’t sure how long it was before Peter's tears subsided to soft silence. A quick glance down showed Peter still crying with half-lidded eyes.

“I fell off the plane.” Peter murmured.

“What?” Tony asked, ice flooding his veins. Peter hadn't told him everything that happened that night nor any of the injuries he sustained.

“That was what my dream was about.” Peter mumbled, burying his face into Tony's neck. “I tried to get my webs back on it but I missed and I fell. I woke up when I… hit the ground.”

Relief and guilt hit Tony at the same time. Relief that Peter hadn't actually fallen off the plane, but guilt once again at that situation. Tony would never forgive himself for what he put Peter through.

“You didn’t actually fall off the plane?” Tony asked, unsure.

“No, no I didn’t.” Peter whispered. “I came close a couple times but I never fell off. I was so scared that I was going to. I keep dreaming that I fall off, or Toomes’ kicks me off, or we both fall and we both die, and I hate it. I hate that I can't just get past this.”

“Peter, this isn't something that you can just ‘get past’.” Tony said, lightly dragging his nails through Peter's hair. Peter shivered and buried deeper into Tony. “So stop trying to. You need to deal with what happened, and not try and run from it. I've tried, son, it never works.”

Dammit, Tony just could not keep his stupid mouth shut. But instead of saying that he wasn’t Tony's son, Peter just melted into Tony. Tony took that as a good sign to keep going.

“So just listen to someone who's spent their life trying to run away. It always catches up.”

“Thanks, old man.” Peter teased, as if testing the waters.

“Watch who you're calling old, junior.” Tony responded, trying to normalize the joking atmosphere they’ve had before. “I'm still young enough to date your Aunt.”

Peter chuckled weakly then tensed. “Oh man, May, I'm way past curfew.”

“I'll handle that.” Tony whispered. “Don’t worry about it.”

Peter relaxed. “Thanks, Tony.”

“You're welcome, kiddo.” Tony felt as if the world had stopped for just a second. Peter had never called him Tony before. It had always been ‘Mister Stark’. It felt good.

They lapsed into silence. Tony kept up his ministrations and held Peter tight. After a while, Peter's body relaxed against him and Tony felt drowsiness pulling at his eyelids.

“All right, kiddo, it’s definitely time for bed now.” Tony murmured.

No response.

“Son, did you fall asleep again?” Tony chuckled lightly.

Tony turned his head in a funky way but enough to get a good view of Peter's face. Peter's eyes were closed, the tear tracks were still wet but there were no new tears, and his mouth was slack. His kid was out, good and true. Tony smiled fondly but sadly, wiping the tears away, and then realized something. He was very much trapped under Peter. If he moved, he might wake Peter and then everything would be ruined. If he didn’t move, he’d be trapped under Peter all night.

“Shit, my legs are falling asleep.” Tony breathed, trying not to wake Peter. “You just had to pick this spot right here, didn’t you, kid?”

Tony's only response was a soft snore.

“Damn, kid, you're making me go soft.” Tony whispered into Peter's hair.

Deciding that both of them needed to sleep somewhere that wasn’t here, Tony slowly shifted until his arm was under Peter's knees and meticulously moved as deliberately as possible until he was standing with Peter in his arms. For a teenager who was supposed to weigh about one hundred and fifty pounds, the kid was really light. Maybe it was the metabolism, but whatever it was, he thought to make a note for Happy take his kid out for more lunches. They'd both enjoy it, though Happy would never admit it.

Maneuvering out of the lab and into the elevator was a hell of a lot harder with a teenager in your arms. Luckily, Peter never woke up. It seemed the kid was exhausted. With more of a closer look at Peter's face, Tony saw the bags under Peter's eyes, and knew Peter probably hadn't been sleeping well since the plane crash.

“Friday, I changed my mind.” Tony said, just loud enough for Friday to hear him. “Don’t take me to the garage. Take me to my room.”

“You got it, Boss.” If AIs could whisper, Friday was doing it.

Tony exited on his floor and Friday opened all the doors until Tony got to his room. Then, trying to be as gentle as possible so he didn’t wake him, he lay Peter down on his bed. Thankfully, the service Pepper had hired to keep the Compound in some sort of cleanliness always left Tony's covers turned down since he had a habit of just falling into bed sometimes when he’d been working in the lab for hours. It had probably been Pepper’s idea, she knew him well enough. Mercifully, Peter hadn't been wearing jeans or a belt so there was no awkward thought process of taking those off to help Peter sleep better. So he slipped Peter's legs under the covers and tucked the blankets under his chin.

But now with Peter in his bed, that left where Tony was going to sleep. And he desperately needed sleep. He obviously wasn’t going to sleep in his bed, which was beyond consideration, but he needed to be near Peter, in case he had another nightmare. He couldn’t think of himself sleeping anywhere else tonight.

“Boss, if I may suggest, taking the cot from the lab and bringing it in here?” Friday asked.

“You're a genius, Friday.” Tony murmured. “Watch over him for me.”

Tony then left to hurriedly get the cot from the lab and haul it to his room. “Friday, text May and say that I'm sorry for getting to her so late but Peter fell asleep in the lab again and is staying the night here. Happy can drop him off tomorrow.” Tony said.

“She replied ‘Thank you Mister Stark. If you could let me know by ten next time, that would be highly appreciated.’” Friday said.

Tony gulped. Tony understood the threat behind May’s words. “Tell her that I will text her by nine forty-five next time.”

“She says ‘Thank you Mister Stark’.” Friday said.

“Friday, make sure I do text her by nine forty-five.” Tony said, grabbing the cot.

“Will do, Boss.” Friday answered.

Once back, and Friday reported Peter hadn't even moved in his sleep, Tony grabbed some sweatpants and changed in the bathroom. Then Tony lay down on the cot, getting a good view of Peter's still sleeping, serene face. Resisting the urge to run his fingers through his hair again, denying the parental impulse that it came from, Tony settled down into sleep.

“Goodnight, son.”


End file.
